Barely

Chapter Six: An Unexpected Departure | Part 6

He snatched his bag off the chair and marched for the library doors, ignoring the giggles from those who’d witnessed his unceremonious waking. Seerla was waiting for him in the hallway.

Thirtyx breathed a heavy sigh. “Did your friends send you over here to see what you could get out of me?”

She smiled sympathetically as they set off toward their capstone class. “Perhaps. But pretending that’s why I wanted to talk to you was the only socially acceptable way to come ask if you’re okay.”

A combination of shock and sleep deprivation kept him from fully processing what she’d said. “If I’m… okay?”

“Well, yeah. You clearly haven’t slept. I assume you were up all night supporting Benn and Rhea through whatever was going on. And you’ve had to face today without them, with everyone pressuring you.” Her stare was boring a hole in the side of his head, so Thirtyx braced himself for pity before meeting her eyes. He was startled to find admiration in her expression instead. “Thirtyx, I have no clue how you’re handling it.”

Barely. He was barely handling it, and while it was so incredibly comforting that someone had noticed, acknowledging the impossibility of Thirtyx’s current position brought him dangerously close to his breaking point. He sucked in a ragged breath. “Yeah, well, you remember third year, don’t you? This isn’t the first time I’ve been bullied to give up secrets. I think I’ve gotten a lot better at defending myself, so there’s that.”

“Stop trying to minimize it,” Seerla snapped. “Really. How can I help? I can write you a copy of today’s notes from the classes we have together, if you’d like. You’re clearly in no condition to take them yourself.”

Thirtyx inhaled to turn down her offer, but by the time the sentiment made it to his mouth, it exited as the words, “Are you sure? Because that would actually be a big help.”

She shrugged a shoulder coyly. “I sometimes re-copy my notes to remember them better, so it’s not a disservice or anything. Now, do you need to stay awake to study tonight? We could set up a study session in the library so I can keep you awake… although, now that I say it out loud, I’m pretty sure you’d rather be alone after all this. Forget I said anything—”

“No.”

Thirtyx was almost as surprised by the word as Seerla, but the sentence had started coming, and Thirtyx couldn’t stop it now. “I— I— I’ve been dreading going back to the dorms all day, because being in that room without Benn will just remind me of everything that’s going on, and I don’t know if I can handle it, so despite the fact that I would love to just pass out for the rest of the night, I don’t think it’s going to work, so maybe studying in the library is… is better.”

His cheeks felt suddenly warm. What in the universe was he doing telling Seerla how he felt, unfiltered and entirely truthful? Twins, he could see her now, running back to her friends, giggling about how close poor Venmagalion was to crumbling under the pressure—

“I have an idea.”

Seerla’s eyes were alight with mischief, and that certainly didn’t settle his nerves. Nevertheless, he let her pull him to the wall beside the classroom door, and he leaned in when she dropped her voice to a whisper. “Nephrie goes basking on Dufspanes. She’s usually gone from 33 to 40 or so. You want to sleep, but you don’t want to be alone? Come to my room after class. You can nap in my bed while I copy you a set of notes. Then, maybe you’ll feel refreshed enough to weather your empty room.”

It took Thirtyx several moments to realize his mouth was hanging open. “Seerla, what—”

“I’m serious, Thirtyx.” She was. Even as oversaturated with energy as he was, he’d likely sense if she was luring him into a trap. “No one is being fair to you. The least I can do is take some stress off however I can.”

She pushed past him to enter the classroom, but not without a glance over her shoulder that felt like it pierced his soul. “Think about it. If you want to take me up on the offer, meet me by the dining hall after class.”

Think about it he did. It was all he could think about. For the better part of a decade, Thirtyx hadn’t dared to dream he could count on someone besides Benn and Rhea—not even the Wydewood faculty. Past traumas screamed at him not to get too attached to Seerla, lest she suddenly remember why the whole planet hated Veriths. But his intuition told him she was being genuine, at least for now.

Worst case scenario? She invited her friends over to watch him snoring in her bed, and they never let him live it down. So what? It wasn’t like he could lose respect he never had. Best case scenario? He got a few winks of sleep without worrying if the magic students were going to pick the locks on his dorm room, knowing Benn wasn’t around to secure them extra well, and do Twins-only-know-what to Thirtyx until he cracked.